This is my third presumed reason why the Dalai Lama may be happier than most of us:
He does not watch TV more than 2.5 hours a day or go online for more than half an hour. He does not even have a facebook profile. He may soon be the only person who does not really live in the world of any, not having those 288,000 popcorn opportunities or a spectrum ranging from DNA-driven dating to soup dating at his fingertips. His wardrobe features just one item, his signature red robe.
Having never got on the happiness superhighway (that which is the explanation to our parents seemingly being right – though not really – about TV and the internet being bad for us), happiness cannot elude him – it has nowhere to go!
So, now you don’t have to travel to Tibet or try to get a ticket to his next arena appearance to learn how to be happy Lama-style. Just remember to 1) get a life (i.e., a new one after this), 2) avoid other people (so you shouldn’t really follow his example and hang out with celebrities), and 3) always, always wear a robe. In any color you want, as long as it’s red.
This reason for the Lama dude being happy is why I am not sure he is that happy after all.
Global comparisons of life satisfaction suggest that Russians produce a peculiarly low average level, and that the standard deviation is unusually high. However, when matching this finding with research on satisficing vs. maximizing and on rumination, the numbers seemingly make a little more sense. One of the few things that have a lasting effect on our satisfaction with life is comparison to other people. People who compare themselves to others tend to be less happy (given that other people have or are something that they do not have or are), unless the comparison winds up to their advantage (which it usually does not, there is always something you covet from thy neighbor’s table). Russia is one of the countries where conspicuous consumption, “showing off” is fairly prevalent, and where the ability to show-off is rather unevenly distributed. So, there is a lot of people who are able to compare themselves with others, and the standards of comparison are not that satisfying…
The Holy Lama is not Russian, in the fairly isolated and uniform environment he lives there should be no other standards of comparison. And so he should be unusually unhappy. But then there’s the glitch – all those dead-end celebrities (and award-winning Swedish ad wizards) rubbing against him. In practice, he is not that isolated from neighbor’s tables…
Isn’t reincarnation a wonderful thing? No wonder all kinds of Buddhism have become so popular in the last few years, and that Richard Gere is far from the only celebrity who likes to hang out with the Lama-man. Peruse the Dalai Lama youtube clips and you’ll find virtually everyone who’s anyone rubbing themselves against him.
Living on the happiness superhighway and approaching what these super-famous, super-rich, super-mated people may perceive as a dead-end, the nextopia lure of a next life is irresistible.
And the holy Lama himself is probably looking forward to reaching a new step on the ladder once he caves in (for this time).
Are Axl’s old bandmates following in his footsteps? Or maybe trying on other former bandmate Gilby Clarke’s shoes?
Remember the earlier post about Axl & Guns n’ Roses’ forthcoming(?) album Chinese Democracy that has been a never-dying phenomenon the last decade? Google hits, youtube clips, merchandise and tours have been amassing in anticipation of the fantastic, nextopia album, that keeps being touted as subject for release soon. Now you can even have free Dr Pepper sodas in the US if it’s out this year.
Remember the post on controlling your darlings in Gilby Clarke (former rhythm guitarist in G’n'R) & Co:s Rockstar Supernova, where TV viewers voted for their favorite lead singer candidate?
Seems like the rest of the G’n'R guys, now members of Velvet Revolver, are on the same track.
In the beginning of April, they fired lead singer Scott Weiland. Before the month was over, they announced that they want YOU to audition for the spot. The news that they would host online auditions for a new lead singer made it big in the press (and already renders 70,000+ google hits). The timeline for this is “soon, as we want to get going”, straight from the horse’s (Slash) mouth.
No such online audition has materialized yet. But that does not stop the clips from pouring on youtube and other websites. In the world of any, anyone can audition anywhere for the position as lead singer of Velvet Revolver. And as long as the actual audition remains a promise of the future, Velvet Revolver stays in nextopia where anyone can control the band from their position as a front wo/man.
For the sake of symmetry (the theme did not fit with the days of the week because of the abrupt pause last week), and also because there are so many fun cases to choose between, here’s a number VI.
Born Tara Leigh Patrick, you can probably guess by her taken name who she decided to live happily ever after with in an early life. Yes, the guy with the raspberry beret – Prince. Auditioning for his record label in 1994, she passed the audition both for a solo album and a twosome life with the artist who would eventually be formerly known as Prince. It lasted until the turn of the year. That’s when Prince morphed into another one of many characters to come and Carmen evolved into a TV star, running on beaches and singling people out on MTV.
A new life and a new outlook on the future, Carmen decided to live happily ever after with cross-dressing NBA star Dennis Rodman. They married in Las Vegas, and you know what that means. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so the couple got divorced within three months.
By now, she had transformed into a movie star and foreseeing a future on the silver screen, she found the perfect partner for a happily ever after life in guitarist Dave Navarro. They married and started their first mutual limelight project, the MTV reality show with the fitting name Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave.Which, evidently, was also their last and only mutual project. Three years after they met, they were divorced.
Around this time, Carmen began commissioning the Naked Women’s Wrestling League, and with this new life in focus, she pursued legendary female rocker Joan Jett. Though hoping to marry and live happily ever after, Carmen never got that far with Joan.
The latest gossip suggests she has just got engaged with Rob Patterson of rock band Korn, tattooing his monogram R behind her ear in anticipation of the exchange of rings.
Does all this suggest that Carmen is a fickle person? Once again, no, she is just like the rest of us. That is, if the rest of us changed careers and outlooks on the future every second year (which is actually what statistics suggest we do, career switching has increased by up to 1,000 percent in the last ten years) and had access to a world of attractive potential partners (which the world of any is now allowing us).
Does it suggest that Carmen cannot find happiness? No, it just means that she finds many shorter “happinesses” instead of one ever-lasting. Who’s to say that one is better than the other? And you can probably guess where we are all heading…
This lady keeps popping up in various contexts. And in many respects, she is a kind of symbol or symptom of the time, with the round-the-clock availability – of anything to her, and of her to anyone. And, of course, the theme of the week – of anyone to her.
Like Ivana T., Britney has come quite a long way, from kid tv star, to best-selling music artist, leading lady in the movies, author of four books, and fragrance designer. However, unlike Ivana, Britney grew up at the turn of the millennium, and was therefore able to go through all the transformations much faster. In the world of any, she swooshed through them before the age of 25.
And, of course, in the world of any, there have been an abundance of suitors calling on Britney. Closest to mind is probably Kevin Federline (the man who was able to transform himself into the brand K-Fed – in the world of any, obviously anything is possible…) Three months after they first met, they were engaged. Two months after that, they decided to live happily ever after and got married. Less than three years and two kids later, they divorced.
But what earned Britney the spot this week is her marriage before K-Fed. The Fed was not her only husband during 2004. On January 3, she married Jason Alexander in Las Vegas. And lived happily-ever-after with him for a whopping 55 hours. Once they left Las Vegas, her mother had the marriage annulled. Staying true to the American saying, “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”.
And staying true to the axiom of the Expectations society: What happens in nextopia, stays in nextopia. All marriages are perfect before they are realized, all promises to live happily ever after are true before they are uttered.
After an insanely successful decade as a tv/movie/standup star in the 1980’s, Eddie Murphy decided to settle down in 1993 and live happily ever after with his wife Nicolette. Settling down worked fine for Eddie while his career was doing the same, but as it picked up in the new millennium, the marriage started cracking up.
The divorce from Nicolette was finalized in the beginning of 2006, and before the year was over he had conceived a child with Scary Spice Mel B. Living happily-ever-after as Mr. Funny Spice was not a tune Eddie liked, and before the child was born he left Mel.
Proving that his short stint with Mel was not a sign of bad or whimsy character, Eddie exchanged vows and promised to live happily ever after with Tracey on a beautiful beach on an island just off Bora Bora. The knot was tied on January 1, 2008. When they had returned to the US, Eddie announced on January 16 that the marriage was not recognized by US law and that he and Tracey had now decided to just be friends.
In the world of any, you can marry anywhere. And you don’t need to “suffer” any consequences. Just go anywhere else in the world, where you are not married… And you don’t have to be rich, if you have earned some frequent flier miles!
Ivana Trump is best known as the former wife of Donald Trump. Which is a pity, as she has done so many more things (and people…) in her life. At the age of 19, she married her high school sweetheart George, and lived happily ever after as an alternate for the Czechoslovakian Olympic ski team. This provided her an extraordinary platform in the then communist country, allowing her to travel (almost) freely around the world and attain an international Master’s degree. The world becoming her playground, she moved to a new life as a model in Canada and divorced George soon thereafter (how could a girl growing up in a Communist country in the 1960’s foresee a glamorous life as a model?) as she met “the apprentice-firer” Donald.
Their happily-ever-after came to a more or less mutual end fifteen years later, and was immediately followed by a new ever-after as she married Riccardo Mazzucchelli. During their two years of marriage, Ivana transformed herself from a former model and “famous wife” into a designer – of everything from haute couture to jewelry to beauty products (how could a model-turned-famous wife foresee a future as a successful designer? Remember that this was back in the nineties…) So, divorce followed.
This spring, Ivana decided to live happily ever after and married her fourth husband, Rossano Rubicondi.
My guess is, she will divorce him before their first anniversary. Not because there is anything special about Ivana. She behaves just like the rest of us would, if we had a fortune and the ability to meet (and leave) new interesting people continuously, and if our lives transformed completely every few years. And in the world of any, we are all getting there.
International statistics suggest that wealthy people (those with more anys) marry more than twice as many times as the median…
Sorry the blog paused so abruptly last week. Wednesday morning marked the beginning of what would turn out to be the worst week of my entire life.
Right now, I am immensely grateful and realize that life is a great gift that should never be taken for granted. Having come out on the other side, I now have more practical empathy of the British panel studies showing that months after the accident, paralyzed victims are actually more satisfied with life than they were before.
Life is a wonderful thing. And it’s too fleeting and short not to have fun, be silly, laugh and celebrate. So I hope to see you tomorrow with another fun day of the happily-ever-after week!
Personal correspondence should go to micael dot dahlen at hhs dot se. Media requests should go to info at volante dot se. Do you want to hire me as a speaker? Email speakers at volante dot se.
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